We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
