Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
