We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
