i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
