Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
