If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize