I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just high enough for therapy.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
