i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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