Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
