He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he thought i was a dude.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
