She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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