he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
