i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
