am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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