He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
