You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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