im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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