I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
