yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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