I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
