my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
