Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
