It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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