when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
