talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
