my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
