I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
