Got a toothbrush?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
