So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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