Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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