Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
