it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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