I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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