last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
