you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
