take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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