There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
