I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize