I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
These tits shall not be calmed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
