until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
