I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize