Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize