so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
