Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
