We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
