There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we have pet lesbian snakes
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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