I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
