i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
