haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
