he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
