I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
