Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
