Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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