Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
