Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
