there's paper in my vomit.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
