no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
