Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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