can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is my gift to your gina
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
