Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My vagina is very pro this idea
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
